SuNsHiNe DaIsY

Terminadas las compras del día, se apresuró a coger el bus. Caminó hacia el paradero mientras comía el último pedazo de su panini de queso con tomate. Apenas hubo botado el envoltorio, vio que el bus se asomaba por la esquina. ¡Justo a tiempo!

El bus de la línea 4 iba inusualmente lleno, tanto así que tuvo que caminar hasta el último asiento para encontrar un espacio libre. Arregló sus compras para que cupieran dentro de una sola bolsa, y sacó su libro. Mirar por la ventana era demasiado peligroso para su salud mental, ya que con el paisaje seguramente iba a ponerse a pensar en… Detuvo su corriente de la conciencia ahí mismo y se puso a leer. ¿En qué iba? Ah, sí, Carlos recibía una carta de un tío que estaba enfermo y se levantaba a la medianoche para ir a visitarlo.

Un joven de cabellera clara la distrajo momentáneamente de su lectura cuando montó las escaleras de la parte trasera del bus. Ella trató de no dejar volar su imaginación, y se obligó a mantener los ojos en el libro. Increíble que ahora todo le recordaba a él. Todo. Tan cerca queda el odio del amor… ¡Tan difícil era dejar de pensar en él! Sacudió su cabeza e intentó concentrarse nuevamente en su libro. El recuerdo de su primer beso con él resucitó un millón de mariposas y un escalofrío corrió por su cuerpo. Sonrió y miró por la ventana mientras esa voz en su interior intentaba regresar su atención a la serie de hojas impresas que afirmaba entre sus manos en forma de novela antigua.

Pero ya era muy tarde. La novela se hallaba ahora en los enredos de su vívida imaginación. El joven de cabellera clara era él, porque él todavía la amaba y jamás la iba a dejar de querer. El joven había corrido detrás de ella y había cruzado mares para verla una vez más y decirle que no la iba a dejar ir. Ella era todo para él, y nadie más iba a reemplazarla en su corazón.

Corazón… Corazón… ¿Corazón? Corazón delator. Sí, como el cuento de Poe. Su corazón latía tan desmesuradamente hasta el punto de estar segura de que si su vida terminaba ahí mismo, él iba a seguir escuchando los latidos que su corazón sin vida le dedicaba.

Pestañeó un par de veces y Carlos había arribado ya a la casa de su tío enfermo. Suspiró y miró a su alrededor. En el bus el joven de cabellera clara caminaba hacia la puerta preparándose para bajar en la próxima parada. No era él. No podía ser él. Jamás iba a ser él; al menos no aquí. Él no saldría corriendo tras ella. Él ya la había olvidado, sus palabras habían sido en vano porque -tristemente lo había aprendido- sus palabras no tenían peso. Iban y venían con el viento, y cualquier suave brisa se las podía llevar. No, sus palabras no eran de confiar. ¿Por qué su corazón no podía comprender esta simple pero cierta tragedia? Seguía latiendo con cada batir de las alas de las miles de mariposas que aún volaban cuando recordaba algún momento con él. Su corazón, estúpido e inocente, seguía latiendo en vano. Quizás… quizás lo iba a dejar latir, dejar que lata hasta que explote. Que la sangre se derrame luego por el suelo hasta yacer sin vida en medio del mundo que sigue girando. Él no iba a venir. La novela en sus manos avanzaba frente a sus ojos, pero su mente ya no la seguía. Ella había creado otra novela en su mente. Una novela peligrosa; un cuento de mentiras; una fábula sin moraleja.

Reconoció el paisaje y cerró su libro. Se acercó a la puerta y descendió del bus… Él no venía detrás.

No más, por favor, no más
Susurra despacio a la orilla del precipicio
No, no, no, es una ironía esta vida, déjalo ya
¿Decepcionarlos a causa de estar decepcionándolos?
Sí, es irónico
Da un paso hacia atrás, no vayas a caer
Caer... caer... caer... quizás ya es tarde
Vienen por ti, ya vienen, de verdad que sí
Cuesta creer que te pueden salvar
Lo único que quieres es perder el balance y caer
Caer... caer... caer... quizás ya es tarde
Quizás ya vas cayendo
y las manos a tu auxilio llegarán muy tarde.

¿Cómo vivir si los sueños no existen?
¿Cómo morir si el mundo cuenta contigo?

No lo hagas, déjalo ya.
Vive, muere, vive, muere... Vive.

Vivir, quizás, es una buena opción por hoy.

Con el dolor en el alma... afrontar un nuevo día...

My old and beloved SunshineDaisy blog. My first blog! Two years ago I created another one, a private blog. I was initially going to give the address to a few people, close friends in my life, and nobody else. It's been over two years and I still haven't given that blog address to anyone. However, as of today it has 12,001 views. Who is reading it?!?!

Bordeaux is fun. I've started to fall in love with this charming little city in the southwest of France. I'm sad that I haven't been able to travel much, but it'll happen eventually.

I still don't know if I'm staying here until May, or going back to California in December. It's a tough choice that depends on many things. I've tried making a pro/con list but that didn't work. Now I'm down to the classes I must take for my major (which, by the way, I'm switching again).

I'm obviously very rusty in the blogging world. I used to be able to write entries left and right, with no problem whatsoever. I have a serious case of writer's block right now. Journaling and blogging are not the same thing.

I need to blog some more.

Okay, that's it for today folks. Good bye!

Gorro, bufanda, medias y abrigo.

Suena el reloj: seis de madrugada.

Miro hacia afuera: acá no hace frío.

Botas, chaleco, parka y mis guantes.

Me asomo hacia el vidrio y el sol se ve grande.

Adíos a mi gorro.

Adíos mi bufanda.

Al closet las botas, hola sandalias.

Al closet la parka.

Al cajón el chaleco.

Guardo las medias,

porque hoy es día de guantes largos.

Guantes largos.

Guantes largos.

Guantes largos.

Tiempo de luchas. Tiempo de desafíos. Tiempo de vivir los días paso a paso, segundo a segundo. Tiempo de errores y de promesas; de romper promesas y volver a errar. Tiempo de aprender del pasado y vivir el presente. De no pensar en el futuro porque es muy lejano, tiempo de vivir.

De pelear contra el mal que aparece tentador, tiempo de lágrimas, de vergüenza, de heridas y de dolor. Tiempo de afrontar las mañanas con miedo, pero de ver asomar la noche con orgullo. Tiempo de pequeñas metas y grandes etapas cumplidas. Tiempo de volver a caer en lo mismo, pero luego renacer de las cenizas. Tiempo de valorar a quien está cerca, de apreciar a los que han dado su apoyo incondicional y a los que lo dejaron todo por un par de palabras.

Tiempo de agradecer a DIOS por la vida, por mantenerme viva, por darme la fuerza que necesito para vivir, por estar ahí en cada momento, en cada caída y en cada pequeño paso cumplido; por perdonarme cuando vuelvo a tropezar y ayudarme a levantarme, a limpiar mis heridas y seguir adelante.

Agosto 28.
Dos mil siete.
Dos mil ocho.
Una batalla que sigue.
Un sol que asoma detrás de la tormenta.

June 18th, 2008

Yup, we are awesome. Although today we discovered we weren't really awesome, they just said it to make us feel good. But who cares what they say, we know we are freakin' awesome :)

Call time was 9:00am. The day before I woke up late, so by the time I was sleepy it was close to 4:00 in the morning. If I'd gone to bed, it would've been around 5:00 by the time I'd fallen asleep, and I had to get up at 7:00... no way I would make it. So I pulled an all-nighter. At 6:45 I started to get ready, and by 8 I was ready to leave. So I checked the website once more, and the call time had changed to 11:00!!!!! Argh!

Around 10:45 I got to the basketball court and signed in. I met Rio, Alex, Christiana, James, and Jack. Although the first three I'd seen the week before. We had breakfast and went through wardrobe. Unfortunately, neither of us had brought "formal/cute" clothes, so we were sent to the the Costume/Wardrobe people... which apparently knew very little about dressing others. They gave me and Christiana awful medieval dresses, they gave Alex a cruise outfit, and James and Jack got PINK neckties.

Little after that, snacks appeared. DOUGHNUTS! It might've been because we were about 100-150 extras this day, little compared to the 700+ we had the week before. It was good, we got good food. And more fun.

So we waited. And waited some more. And discovered the ART of waiting. We walked around the school and waited again. Finally, around 6:00, they told us to change to our casual clothes, because we would do that scene first. Then, they took us outside, to film a "morning" scene. Each one of us got a different spot (we got lucky, we got to be almost in front of the camera), and we stood there waiting in the shining sun. Everyone eventually moved to the shade, and minutes later we were told to remember our original spots and go back inside, for we would go and have lunch first and then come back to film.

Lunch was great and the food was great, although it was difficult to finish it all. I had to ask for help, haha. And for the first time I was too hungry to eat the brownie (which we always got for dessert and happily ate).

So back outside we went, filmed a few scenes, and were done by 8:00. We went back inside to change back to our crazy formal clothes. I HATED THAT DRESS, I couldn't have said that too many times. It made me look like a fat, pregnant, old lady. Not fat, not pregnant, not old, but fat-pregnant-old, all three in one!

After waiting for more time, and walking around East High, trying to use the elevator (hehe), wondering what they were going to film in the Cafeteria, and just basically hanging out, another good snack appeared at the basketball court: chips and salsa! Yum :)

Then more time went by. We eventually went outside to get some fresh air, and spotted a Zac sticker on a sign (haha). Then went back inside, stole a few chocolates from a hidden box, and walked around the school some more. Someone told us they would need the extras in no time at all! So we went back to the basketball court, waited... and then they brought pizza! Funny thing is, it was way more pizza than we could eat, and we had been fed quite well this day, so none of us was really hungry. After snacking on some slices, we again got tired of waiting, and went for another walk. This time Cody (one of the ADs) saw the six of us near the auditorium and told us we could go inside and watch, but we had to sit in the back and be very quiet.

Inside the auditorium... we saw the filming of Ryan's show! The same one we had to "react" to a few days ago, now we were watching it being filmed! It was great!

Around midnight we heard that the extras had been dismissed, so we went back to return our horrible wardrobe, get our vouchers, and sign out. The six of us went back to the auditorium after that, but nothing seemed to be going on so we left.

Outside there was a lovely full moon and the sky was cloudless. You could even see a halo around the bright white moon. I walked around the front of the building reviewing the events of the six great days I had spent there. Smiling at myself and thinking what a wonderful experience this had been.

High School Musical, who says we have to let it go?
It's the best part we've ever known, step in to the future
Hold on to High School Musical
Celebrate where we come from
The friends who've been there all along, that's right!

June 13th, 2008

Three years ago I was getting mentally prepared to die in a 7.9 earthquake that hit Iquique at 6:44pm. Today I was remembering that day while enjoying my life as a High School Musical 3 extra.

Call time was 8:00am, we were happy they hadn't gone as insane as the day before. I had a cap and gown, and I had a number, so I got to stand in the huge lines with the rest of the people, which made me feel great (I'm so easily amused). There wasn't a single cloud in the sky, and it was quite warm even that early in the morning, so we bathed ourselves in sunblock.

To the field we went again after breakfast, this time we had chairs. I got to be in the far right seat of row #4 --to the right looking towards us. We had a lot of fun, this time the actors were really close to us, two of them were two seats directly in front of me. Maybe I can find myself when the movie comes out... then again, maybe not. They handed each of us a "prop diploma", which was a plastic tube wrapped in paper and tied with a red ribbon.

That scene didn't take long, and after that we had to go to the stands and be "audience". Only the Dancers where in the next shot. Kenny pointed out that when we watched the movie, we could say, "Hey! There's me... looking at me!" It was quite a thought. Again we had to clap, dance, cheer and WOOO!! to the music.

Every once in a while the actors would wave at us, and both cast and crew would tell us how awesome we were (Kenny said it all the time), and how they couldn't do a movie without us (which is so very true). When Bart Johnson (who plays Coach Bolton) went up to us and started spreading the love, he clapped and thanked us, and then started walking back, away from us, but still looking and waving. He wasn't looking where he was going, because suddenly he tripped with a rail and almost fell. We all laughed.

On one of the breaks, I was looking for the tent were the snacks were, but I wasn't really watching were I was going. I turned my head and noticed someone not wearing cap and gown was walking right past me. It took me a second to realize it was Zac Efron. I had almost bumped into him. He was walking with Vanessa.

At the very end they needed extras who weren't Dancers to... err... dance. We wore our gowns (not our hats), and moved to the music, while the Dancers did the real choreography. Then we ran around like crazy. I really think --and hope-- I'm in this scene.

Then the day was over, it was 8:30pm and we were done. It was time to say goodbye, for I still am not sure if I'll be able to go next week.

These five days were definitely one of the best experiences of my life. Being an extra is not as easy as it looks, it's tiring, and sometimes even exhausting, but it was awesome. High School Musical 3 premiers on October 24th, and I'm anxious to see how it turns out. It was looking pretty good, GREAT, actually.

I hope to find myself in the big screen.